By Savoy Stevens In a world that often pushes us to hide our flaws and project a perfect image, authenticity and vulnerability are acts of courage. They require us to take off our masks and allow ourselves to be seen—flaws and all. And while it can feel risky, these qualities are essential for true growth and transformation. When we think of growth, we often imagine it as a straight path upward. But more often than not, real growth looks messy. It involves moments where we feel lost, uncertain, or even broken. The truth is, those uncomfortable moments are precisely where transformation happens. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul writes, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." God doesn't wait for us to be perfect to work in our lives. He meets us in our vulnerability and uses it as the foundation for growth. Authenticity, then, becomes the key to opening that door. When we are honest about who we are—our fears, our struggles, our doubts—we invite God to step in. It’s not about having it all together but about having the courage to admit when we don’t. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” It’s in our brokenness, not our perfection, that we often experience God’s presence most profoundly. Vulnerability also builds resilience. When we acknowledge our weaknesses, we become more open to God’s strength working through us. In letting go of the need to appear strong, we gain a deeper reliance on God. Vulnerability allows us to lean into this trust, knowing that we don’t have to have all the answers.Growth isn’t about avoiding hardship or pretending we have it all figured out. It’s about stepping into the discomfort of vulnerability, knowing that God is with us in those moments. In embracing our authenticity, we create space for God to do His transformative work, shaping us into who we were always meant to be. So, the next time you feel the pressure to be perfect, remember that God’s grace shines brightest through your cracks. It’s in those moments of vulnerability that real growth takes root and flourishes. Be authentic, be vulnerable, and trust that God is doing something beautiful within you. By Jim Peterson Wake up. Look. See! To pay attention to life Is to gain one’s life. What, wisdom asks, do you get when you really pay attention to your life? A life! This suggests that life in its fullest is lived only as we pay attention to it. On the reverse side, it has been observed that that of which we are unconscious rules us. Our behavior is largely shaped by forces, dispositions, habits, beliefs, assumptions of which we are mostly unaware because they are so deeply embedded in our body, psyche, and spirit. We can sleep our way through life spurred and guided by such unconscious influences. But this need not be the case; we can wake up, the first step on the journey of spirit. The antidote to walking through life in our sleep is the practice of paying attention. The Hebrew scriptures tell the story of Moses encountering a burning bush in the wilderness. When he sees the bush ablaze yet not consumed, he stops, turns, and pays attention. Elizabeth Barrett Browning captures such a moment as only a poet can: “Earth’s crammed with heaven / And every common bush afire with God, / But only he who sees takes off his shoes; / The rest sit round and pluck blackberries.” [Excerpt from Aurora Leigh] I like to think that the bush Moses saw was ablaze all day long, and many a traveler had passed by unseeing; only Moses was practiced enough in paying attention to see something more than a brightly lit bush. Have you ever experienced something like this: seeing something or someone with wider eyes, with the eyes of the heart, where something more, something deeper that is there all along is revealed? But there is more to the story. It goes on to reveal that when Moses paid attention, he was instructed to take off his shoes – this was holy ground, after all; it is sacred space that we enter when we pay deep attention. Then Moses is addressed by a voice from the bush that ultimately leads to his calling to be the leader and former of a nation. The steps in this story are: stop / turn / attend / listen / and respond. Moses full life is revealed and turns on this experience, which starts with his paying attention. The challenge for us is that paying attention in this deep way is hard work. It takes intention, an act of our will. And it is fraught with uncertainty and fear: What will we “hear”? Will it call for a response that we don’t want to make (Moses, indeed, argued vigorously with God about his calling). Will it dislodge us from our comfortable life (shepherding, in Moses’ case)? Will we be safe afterwards? Will we be alone; who will accompany us? These are fundamental questions of life’s meaning, of safety, of belonging. Sometimes it is so much easier to stick with sleepwalking through life where these questions can be kept, we imagine, at bay. For us to take the risk of paying attention we need to open ourselves in trust that this is what the journey of faith requires and that we come into the fullness of who we are and are meant to be only in this way. This is not a trust that we can gin up for ourselves. It must be uncovered, discovered, received, taken in. While life experience can sometimes undermine this process of trust building, it is when we attend to life more fully that it can generate, build, and sustain our trust. If we cannot find it readily within ourselves, the deep trust in Life we observe in others can help. Here too, paying attention (in this case to others) is a fruitful practice. Moreover, trust builds on trust, and if we step out in small ways, the results can make bigger steps possible. The underlying engine of this growth is the practice of paying attention and in doing that, responding as we are able. In what ways has trust grown in you? How has your own attentiveness to unfolding life played a role in this growth? Ultimately, our trust is in the “voice” we hear from the burning bush – in the “more,” the universe, a higher power, or the mystery we call God (or any of several other names). It is, at heart, a relationship. It is not just a “what” we are paying attention to, but more deeply a “who.” As we pay attention more and more to this “who,” we discover more and more the fullness of our own life. Wake up! Look and see. And gain your life. By Eleanor Mendoza Whitney Last night I was standing on my driveway marveling at the moon. It was a “gibbous moon.” Instead of the full, bright, round moon, a gibbous has shadows that make it look misshapen and smaller than it actually is - like a melting scoop of ice cream. But no matter how the moon appears to us, in reality it is always the same in size and shape. It is only our perspective and the light that illuminates it that make it look like a wan crescent or a misshapen scoop. It reminds me that as we move around in the world, there are parts of ourselves that we show to others - parts that we keep in the light. Perhaps these are the parts that we think will be appreciated by our community like, “going along to get along.” Maybe we fear that if we show our whole selves, we will not be accepted. We may rely on what we know has worked for us in the past and do seek out new tools or points of view. Whatever the reason, we can end up with only part of ourselves illuminated, like the gibbous moon. How can we explore the parts of us that are in shadow? Here are a few ideas:
Lately, I have been exploring my own shadowy personality parts by studying a system that is well-known by many people in the field of spiritual direction - the Enneagram. This system differs from some other personality indicators like the Meyers-Briggs in that it describes each personality type (there are 9 total) and also offers clues to understanding those parts of ourselves that might feel too vulnerable to talk about. It also recommends paths for spiritual growth for each type. For myself, I learned that sometimes I prize peace and harmony at the expense of having hard conversations. While I already had some understanding of my tendency, putting language around it has helped me to stretch into some uncomfortable places. While I value peace, sometimes I need to speak up and make my voice heard. In this way, a little bit more of me comes into the light. I may never be a “full-moon” but I find that the more of myself I can bring into the light and share with those around me, the more freedom and fulfillment I find in life. If you are curious about learning more about the Enneagram, we will be having a gathering for spiritual directors on Oct 19th online with Rev. Carol Hovis. See more info here. By Savoy Stevens Transformation is messy. It often feels like everything is falling apart before it comes together. Yet, in those broken places, God’s love shines the brightest. The discomfort we feel in times of change is not a sign of God’s absence but a powerful reminder of His transformative work in our lives. In Genesis, God speaks into the chaos of a formless world, bringing order and beauty from what seems like nothing (Genesis 1:1-3). Similarly, when we experience the chaos of life changes, God is there, speaking order and beauty into our confusion. The “ugliness” we encounter during transformation is part of the journey toward something greater. As Leonard Cohen so beautifully said, “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” When we feel broken, when life doesn’t go as planned, we can trust that God is working in those very cracks. Transformation often means discomfort, but it’s in these moments that God molds us into vessels of His grace. Like the Israelites wandering in the wilderness, yearning for God’s presence, we too find God walking with us through the mess, preparing us for something more. So, if you’re in the middle of life’s chaos, know that God’s light is breaking through. He is with you, and He is making all things new—even when it feels like nothing is going right. Trust the process. God’s beauty is woven into every moment, and His presence never leaves you. By Eleanor Mendoza Whitney Lately I have had some strange and telling dreams. They take place in settings like hospitals and medical offices. In my dream I am usually confused and trying to find a way out. You will not be surprised to learn that in real life, I have a family member with an upcoming procedure and that I am involved with preparing for it. When I share my medical office dream with my partner he will say with a raised eyebrow and a touch of playfulness, “Hmm, whatever could that mean?” Dreams can represent many things. They can show what our brain is processing as we sleep. They can reflect important events in our waking life. They can also reveal our fears and hopes. They can be a way for us to “try on” strategies like a dress rehearsal for our waking hours. Dreams can even have prophetic meaning, as in the Bible - they deliver a message from God. Sometimes I don’t know why I have had a certain dream but I have a sense of its importance. It sticks with me during my morning. When this happens, I like to take a moment of quiet and allow it to replay in my head. As I do, I ask myself questions like, “What is going on in my body as I watch this? What emotions are emerging for me? What does this remind me of?” My spiritual director can be really helpful for this process. She holds a safe space for me as I explore the dream. Sitting with a “sticky” dream and paying attention to my response can help me understand more about what my dream might mean to me. For example, I know that I am nervous about my family member’s upcoming procedure. Will we be ready? Do we know everything we need to know? I notice that I feel nervous, unsure and stressed. I can feel a physical sensation like a weight in my belly. When I allow emotional and physical responses to emerge, I can sense a shift in how I feel about it. Nervous and uncomfortable feelings make space for self-compassion and acceptance. I also notice God’s grace and companionship. I experience it as a feeling of calm. It doesn’t take away the challenge in my life, but feeling that God is with me as I move forward is a great blessing. Do you remember your dreams? Do you keep a dream journal or share your dreams with someone close to you? Have you had an important dream that sticks with you? What did you do about it or what would you like to do about it? |
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