By Wendy Toda
Two Mondays ago, I was almost run down in two different crosswalks. This was only a few days after the mass shooting in my city. My heart rate didn’t even change when the truck turning left into the crosswalk stopped only a few feet from me. I felt zero emotion and only thought, “Hm, I guess it’s not my time to go.” before continuing on my way.
When there’s still plenty of emotional dust in the air, it’s hard to identify feelings beyond numbness and blankness. In the meantime, as if in a parallel universe, we keep moving through life without being particularly connected to it. My dust is slowly settling - it’ll take time, so I’m practicing being gentle with myself. I’ve been told numbness is a normal response, so I’ll be patient and let it run its course. Art has been my quiet companion in this place.
What throws emotional dust around in your inner landscape? Whatever you might be feeling or not feeling, please be kind to yourself there. Go slow. Maybe even slower, till the skies are clear enough for us to see where we are and make our way forward safely together.
None of us knows when it'll be our time. Let's live, love, and serve in the gift of this day.