 By Eleanor Mendoza Whitney
Last night I was standing on my driveway marveling at the moon. It was a “gibbous moon.” Instead of the full, bright, round moon, a gibbous has shadows that make it look misshapen and smaller than it actually is - like a melting scoop of ice cream. But no matter how the moon appears to us, in reality it is always the same in size and shape. It is only our perspective and the light that illuminates it that make it look like a wan crescent or a misshapen scoop. It reminds me that as we move around in the world, there are parts of ourselves that we show to others - parts that we keep in the light. Perhaps these are the parts that we think will be appreciated by our community like, “going along to get along.” Maybe we fear that if we show our whole selves, we will not be accepted. We may rely on what we know has worked for us in the past and do seek out new tools or points of view. Whatever the reason, we can end up with only part of ourselves illuminated, like the gibbous moon. How can we explore the parts of us that are in shadow? Here are a few ideas:
Lately, I have been exploring my own shadowy personality parts by studying a system that is well-known by many people in the field of spiritual direction - the Enneagram. This system differs from some other personality indicators like the Meyers-Briggs in that it describes each personality type (there are 9 total) and also offers clues to understanding those parts of ourselves that might feel too vulnerable to talk about. It also recommends paths for spiritual growth for each type. For myself, I learned that sometimes I prize peace and harmony at the expense of having hard conversations. While I already had some understanding of my tendency, putting language around it has helped me to stretch into some uncomfortable places. While I value peace, sometimes I need to speak up and make my voice heard. In this way, a little bit more of me comes into the light. I may never be a “full-moon” but I find that the more of myself I can bring into the light and share with those around me, the more freedom and fulfillment I find in life. If you are curious about learning more about the Enneagram, we will be having a gathering for spiritual directors on Oct 19th online with Rev. Carol Hovis. See more info here. Comments are closed.
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